Yesterday I made the decision to kill off my other blog; you know, the worthless “weight loss” blog that I, like so many others, tried, in vain, to keep. Now, instead of not writing anything on two blogs, I can devote my full energy to not writing anything on just one blog!

You can hardly stand the excitement, I’m sure.

Denied!

Oh, cruel twist of Fate!
Why doest Thou hate me so?

I was in the home stretch, getting my pre-op tests run yesterday morning. As I sat in the waiting room, the poor little lady with a walker next to me was told that her surgery was cancelled because her doctor was in a transplant surgery he couldn’t leave. I thought, “man, that sucks for her.”

Shortly thereafter, my surgery got cancelled because I had tested positive for strep throat over the weekend. Despite my bravery at taking a shot of penicillin in the ass on Saturday, the physician’s assistant told me “not enough days have passed for us to be sure the strep is gone. If we put in a breathing tube and the strep gets into your lungs it could kill you, blah, blah, blah.” I wish they would have had him come tell me that before they blew a vein in my arm while trying to draw blood.

So. After a crying jag; a call to Mom to cancel her flight (in which I used the word “clusterfuck”- yes, to my mother); and some leave-of-absence-paperwork cancellations; I’m back at work!

Yay!

Suspiciously, this was the first case of strep throat I’ve had in fifteen years. I blame my PA, who kept asking me if I couldn’t put the surgery off until June, so I could help finish our current project. Absolutely diabolical, the way he got his hands on a vial of strep to put in my coffee.

Oh yeah, and since I’m back for an unspecified amount of time, there’s been talk of me being able to help out on the value engineering for…Project B (a.k.a., The Worst Project in the History of Projects)! For those of you wondering, “what’s ‘value engineering?’”, (I have no idea where to put the damn comma/ double set of quotes/ question mark on that one. Suck it, Grammar Police.) it’s when you take a project and try to scale it back so that the budget goes down, effectively “crapping it up” so that the contractor can continue to make a profit at the expense of the quality of the building. I love this industry. Love it.

(When referring to "VE" in the architectural community, pay no attention to what Wikipedia says. It's "crapping it up," pure and simple.)

Been moving. No internet at home. Sucks. Thus the abbreviated rant below:

I hate feeling like getting ahead at work has a whole lifestyle associated with it. In order to be seen favorably, you have to work overtime, play golf, attend industry events, participate in fundraisers, and/ or go to office parties. Can’t I just come to work, do a good job, and become recognized for…coming to work and doing a good job? Do I really have to spend all my free time trying to kiss ass and put on a good show?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Hi, it's me. I'm still as pissy as ever.

Did you miss me?

I didn't think so.

The whole theory of “paying your dues” is a bunch of crap. I thought, if I worked really hard to learn how to make “buildable” buildings; concentrating on details, and systems, that it would help me- one day- to become a GOOD DESIGNER. That plan was pointless. I will never be a designer, because I didn’t become one RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL. Unfortunately, that depends on who you know; and I knew no one. Hence, I fell into the category: “Once a production person, always a production person.”

Why do I let this eat at me so much? I know this is a damn good job, and I should just shut up and do it- and do it well, as I am capable of. Perhaps even excel, a little.

Most days, I can picture myself being okay with what I do. I am hopeful that, with two properly working legs, I can begin to exercise away all this excess angst.

However.

Every time I hear the designers next to me whine about how they should have a section of the office to themselves; creating a “Designers Only” Ivory Tower separate from the shit fields of Production, I get pissed off all over again. All I can think is, no matter what my performance reviews say, I will never get to design- because of this attitude. If you don’t walk in the front door as a Designer from Day One, you WILL NEVER BECOME ONE. Crossovers just don’t happen. There is no credibility established unless you had it when you arrived.

The Designers don’t want my shit-covered feet all over their Ivory Tower’s floor.

Maybe it would be better if they all moved to some remote corner of the building, after all. At least then I wouldn’t continue to harbor these stupid hopes, only to have them destroyed again by the designers’ separatist bitching sessions.

The Planets Have Aligned.

Finally.

After months of waiting, knowing nothing about so many aspects of my near-future life, all the information is coming together.

ManThing officially got his promotion today, complete with a stout raise.
I got my surgery date; in turn, we now know when we are going to move.
Chez Monkey is sold, and our mortgage principal balance is zero dollars.

I feel like I can finally breathe again (though it’s a little tough at the moment, because my belly is quite full of lamb from our celebratory dinner).

At work, I have made the conscientious decision to quit drawing with “smart walls,” start drawing with just lines, and to hell with the consequences. It is quite liberating. I had forgotten how good it feels to just draw; instead of trying to assemble a 3-D model using components that I don’t really know how to manipulate- it was like an octopus wearing high heels while trying to climb a mountain.

I feel so much better. I hope it will last. :)

Overheard

Had a two-week break from Hack n' Snort. He's back now. Boy, is he ever. I heard the following when the IT guy called in response to a message HnS had left:

HnS: How many kay-bees is in a meg? Oh, a thousand is a meg? So I guess a 10,000 kay-bee file is too big to e-mail, huh?

I snorted. From the laughing.

Name That Client!

Yesterday during a meeting, the PM told us the owner had said, "If this building wins a design award, then we've failed our mission."


That's right, folks! It's Project B!

I wish I could have been there when he said it, if only to ask if we should change "stucco" to "cow manure" to save additional costs.

Monogrammed, perhaps?

I wonder if they'll personalize it to read, "Go the hell away."