Things That Sound Better Than Going Back to Work
- Flossing my teeth over and over
- Donating blood at the bloodmobile parked behind me, even though they'd throw it out afterwards (I lived in Germany, thus I fall into their "permanent disqualifications" group)
- Faking a doctor's appointment
- Faking a child, then faking that it was sick
- Staging a "cat health emergency"
- Faking my own illness (wouldn't be hard, as I ate my entire Chipotle burrito- and now feel barfish)
In the end, I settled on going back to work, and writing this list. That killed at least another five minutes.