Parents always seem to have at least one story about something gross involving their offspring and poo. Although it doesn't involve an actual child, I think today's mishap in the CAD Monkey household can safely join, if not surpass, the poo stories I've come across so far.
Background Item #1: A few months ago, after a full week in which ManThing and I came home to various and assorted "presents" The Dog had left on the bathroom floor, we decided to put her in doggie diapers. She no longer has accidents, as long as the diaper is on.
Background Item #2: We have a Roomba. This handy little vacuum roams around in circles, then stops itself when it thinks it has picked up enough dirt. Before I left the house this morning, I set it to clean the bathroom and hallway floor.
When I pulled into the garage this evening, ManThing met me outside the door with a look of severe trepidation upon his face. He said, "I tried to call you, and warn you to stay clear of the house for a little while."
"Why? What broke?"
"Nothing broke, it's just that I forgot to put the diaper on The Dog this morning. She must have gone into the bathroom right after we left."
Roombas, vigilant little creatures that they are, don't stop for puddles- or anything that isn't completely solid, for that matter. I'm sure you can imagine the carnage that ensued from this combination of events. However, if you can't imagine, I'll spell it out in gruesome detail: The Dog had crapped in the bathroom, and the Roomba then proceeded to spread the poo all over the bathroom floor and hallway. Although ManThing had managed to clean up the worst of it before I got there, there was still a nasty haze all over the affected floor.
ManThing was so angry with her that he had put her in the broom closet.
If I weren't on meds right now, The Dog would have become permanently accident-free due to my foot in her ass.