Our office is being reorganized, so that we hamsters will fit more efficiently in our cubicles. HR sent out an e-mail this morning; the gist of which was, “carry your access badge with you at all times.”
This, of course, prompted the following smartass e-mail volley:
CAD Monkey: It’s just another way for The Man to hold us down!
Cube Neighbor: Strawberry fields forever!!!
CAD Monkey: [waves a burning roll of trace paper in the air] We will never surrender!!
Cube Neighbor: [sirens wailing in background. People rushing past through thick, billowy smoke with hands clasping shirts over their mouths. The power is out. You are disoriented. The rhythmic clatter of hard sole shoes becomes more and more pronounced. ~clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap~ the police round the corner near the copier with pink slips drawn.]
Platoon…HALT! Ready! Aim! FIRE!
…and a martyr is born…
CAD Monkey: [grasps chest, sinks to ground] My only regret…cough…is that I have…boneitis.