Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Broke Ass

So I guess I’ve owed you guys an update for a while now. Doing almost anything other than writing in the blog has seemed like a better idea lately. Over the course of the next few posts, I’m going to fast-forward past the previous entry, then rewind, then resume at present time. Strap in and hang on. It won’t make much sense, I’m sure.

My six-week post-op appointment with the surgeon was last Wednesday. I finally got to see an x-ray showing the screws in my New and Improved Hip. There are three 3” screws placed vertically, and a shorter one going from back to front. The hospital charged me $506 for them. I should have asked if I could bring in some lag screws from the hardware store. According to my surgeon, I’m doing even better than he expected. He basically said “rise and walk, my child.” I’m down to one crutch.


My incision still hasn’t completely healed, and he said that may take another 6 weeks. He also showed me on the x-ray where I have a stress fracture in the inferior pubic ramus- also known as the “sit bones.”

Yes, I have a fractured ass.

I’ve reached the part of my recovery where I’m sick of being crippled, yet it will be another few months before I can expect to feel “normal.” I’m 80% pain-free, but I have the weird sensation of always feeling like there’s something in my right front pocket- even when I’m not wearing any pants. My leg feels like it’s crammed into the hip socket. I swear I can feel one of the screw heads through my skin, but I’ve yet to test it with a refrigerator magnet.

On Monday I returned to work. The good news is, they moved my cube while I was away- I am no longer anywhere near Hack n' Snort. Blissful, blissful silence.

1 comment:

Philip said...

No more hack and snort? That removes like 50% of your blogging material right there. If you get to feeling better, there goes the other 50. Whatever will you write aobut?