Prepare yourself for one of the most ridiculous things you will hear today: I am afraid of learning to speak and read German.
“Nouns! Vocabulary! Grammar! Eeeeeee!” [runs away screaming]
After matriculating my way to a graduate degree, I am comfortable in my ability to use, or abuse, the English language at will. I speak fast, and often say big words. I have a sizeable vocabulary at my disposal; and I can either speak intelligently, or dumb things down, according to the situation. In most ways I wish to express myself, I am comfortable using English.
None of these things will be true once I begin to learn German, and it disturbs me. I feel that I will be rendered stupid by a foreign language.
This will not stop me from attempting to learn; it is just the reason why I have procrastinated thus far.
However, I have already learned how to say one thing: “Ich bin eine dick Tasche von scheisse.” That would explain how I feel about myself after lying around on the couch for two days in Lubbock.
And no, “dick” does not mean what it means in English.