It was 5am in the CAD Monkey household, and I was having a dream that I was shooting a live news report in an “architecturally significant” high school, where the student body of said high school was awaiting the arrival of Christina Ho-guilera.* The school’s hallways- floors, walls, everything- were clad in tiles, alternating between 2 colors of blue-green. Hideous. The columns were covered in mirrored tiles. Also hideous. How this building was supposed to be “architecturally significant” is a secret shared by my subconscious and the Frito pie I had for dinner the night before. Also, I was apparently the TV camera- not the camera operator, nor the newscaster; I was the actual camera. Again, I stress, Frito pie.
On the fringes of consciousness, I hear:
Oh, goody. The cat has hurled. I’ll clean it up in an hour, when the alarm goes off.
clackity clackity clackity…
The Dog goes to investigate whether the cat hork is in a spot accessible to her eating it.
clackity clackity clackity…apparently it is not. That means the cat has chosen her favorite Spot o’ the Hurl: the bathroom windowsill. The Dog lies back down, and resumes the never-ending task of licking her stank feet. With dawning revulsion, I realize that the cat is probably undertaking the horror The Dog had intended to commit. I go clean it up.
Good Friday, my ass.
*I also blame the Frito pie for my subconscious’s choice of skanky celebrity.