Tuesday, November 16, 2004

I Have Pelizaeus Merzbacher Brain Sclerosis, I'm Sure of It!!

I don’t want to be this hypochondriacally inclined person I am now. I am constantly trying to diagnose myself with something; to put a name (and a drug) to my problems. Last week, my doctor called to tell me I had an abnormal Pap smear, and after a quick trip to WebMD, I’d already decided I had cervical cancer.

I’m done with having Depression. I had my first (official) bout with it in 1997, and was on and off medication until this year. It runs in the family, so it’s very valid that I would suffer from it; and I feel like crap most of the time, which is definitely a major symptom. The several different medications I’ve been on don’t work for me. I also hate the way I feel while on antidepressants just about as much as how I feel without them.

In my latest Self-Diagnosis-of-the-Week, I’ve decided I have ADD. I took a quiz on WebMD (evil, evil!!), and scored a 26. Scores 25 and above were qualified as "very severe ADHD behaviors"

These are the things in particular that I'm worried about:

Home life
* You often feel overly active and compelled to do things. (Except exercise, apparently)
* You have difficulty unwinding and relaxing at home. (Because the dog pisses me off?)
* You often feel restless or fidgety. (Snoring husband?)
* You tend to worry and feel that things won't work out for you. (Read my old entries about my job- track record, people!!)

Work life
* You often avoid or delay starting tasks.
* You often make careless mistakes.
* You are easily distracted.
* You often have difficulty getting things in order.
* You sometimes have trouble wrapping up the final details.
* You sometimes have difficulty keeping your attention on work.
* You often fidget or squirm when you have to sit for a long time.
* You have changed jobs frequently. (Oh, yeah)
* You feel that you should be further along with your career. (Like retired already!!)

Do I really have a problem, or do I just hate work?

Here’s what Lori said:
“I scored a 14. Which doesn’t concern me because I believe that a lot of the questions most people would have problems with. ‘Do you find yourself tuning out people speaking especially when they are talking directly to you?’ Yes because in our business there are usually a bunch of blow-hards that talk waaayyy too much.”

I think I just want to take a pill to make the Pain of Architecture go away.

Here’s what Mom said:
“These are things that we all go through. If you believe everything on the internet it will make you crazy!!!! I had myself convinced that I had uterine cancer, since all the information on the internet said if you had abnormal bleeding after menopause that you had uterine cancer.

Quit taking internet tests and if you really think you have the condition, go to the doctor!”

Right. Virtual Kick-In-Pants received and acknowledged.

ManThing took the quiz, and called me afterwards:
“25 and above is ‘severe ADHD symptoms,’ right? I scored a 44.”
“SNORF! That’s hilarious! It doesn’t surpise me; but I know you won’t do anything about it.”
“Actually, I’m going to try to go talk to a doctor. If he wants to put me on medication, I’ll try it out and see what it does to me. I just hope they don’t put me on anything that’s going to make me slow down; I kind of like that I move around quickly.”
“I think they put you on stimulants to treat it.”
“Sweet! Have you seen me on stimulants? I’ll be like Daffy Duck- woohoo woohoo woohoo…”

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