CAD Monkey note: Sometimes I really hate Blogger. I had a good post, all written up and ready to go. I hit the "Publish Post" button, it timed out, and now the post has gone poof. I'm a glutton for punishment, though, so I'm going to try and recreate it in all its angsty goodness.
I am putting way too much stock into getting this job; I know I am. I really want it, and I'm making it into the (final) Great White Hope, and I'm setting myself up for a fall. I'm trying rally hard to not talk about it in past tense right now. If I get the Bad Phone Call from them, it will mean I have to start revamping my job hunt drastically. My plan (as of this five minutes) is to send out a lot of revised (deleting the damn "AIA" from behind my name) resumes to small firms with the objective of landing some hourly work. I figure that way I can get some of this damn "experience" everybody keeps saying I don't have enough of. If I'm going to be somebody's bitch, I'm only working 30-36 hours a week, dammit. I'm also going to contact *gasp* a headhunter, and have them do some of this crap for me.
And, I'm going to apply at The Container Store. Yes, for the sales floor. Yes, during Christmas shopping season. Yes, even though I worked at Wal-Mart in a past life and hated every bit of it, especially during Christmas shopping season. Oh, shut up. Drastic changes, I say!
The problem I'm having right now is I don't know when I should resign. Should I wait until I have another job lined up? Should I quit, without another job, and just hope against all hope that I get something soon after? I've already made up my mind that my current project will be my last project here- do I give my notice two weeks before the final deadline, or say to hell with it and give notice this coming Monday?
To stick it to The Man or to go out like a trooper...it is a nagging question. My problem (or a good quality, however you look at it) is that I tend to want to leave on good terms no matter how crap-tacular a place has been. Right now, for example, I am feeling guilty because I know I'm going to quit and they just bought me a new box of business cards with my new name on them. This is a stupid reason to feel guilty in the first place; even more so because they bought the whole office new cards because of the new phone system.
Do you want to hear the worst part of it all? This is the part that makes me feel not like a married, 30-year-old, registered architect with a masters degree, but a big ol' loser: I'm scared to death to tell my mom about what I'm planning. Especially the Container Store part. I don't want to hear the lecture about how I'm wasting my education and wasting my life. Most of all, I don't want to hear the disappointment in her voice. I don't know what I'm trying to figure out with all of this right now; I sure don't want to justify it to anybody else- especially not Mom.