Monday, November 15, 2004

Why Am I Such A Worrier?

My decision has been officially made for me. As much as I want to be a designer, I know I need to give up that dream. It’s just not going to happen for me, or at least not before I’m 50.

I got my rejection letter from GWH on Friday; and I sent in my acceptance letter to Humongo on Saturday. I know I need to stay at Humongo for at least two or three years; as I already have the crimson red mark of a “jumper” on my resume. I’m trying to get excited about starting there, but the fears are setting in already. Humongo was the only firm that made me an offer, just like when I took my current job- is that a bad omen? What if BossManF wasn’t just yanking my chain when he said Humongo is “a hard place to work?” What if I end up working for a jerk- again? What if I absolutely can’t stand any more healthcare architecture, no matter what they’re paying me? Are they going to make me travel all the time (which I can only handle in limited quantities)? What if I hate this place like I’ve hated the last two? What if I can never fit my fatass into any of my suits again??

That last one applies no matter where I’m working, unfortunately.


Anonymous said...

I was in the same spot a couple of years ago when I was living in Dallas, living Office Space in Las Colinas. Actually, I went through three quarterlife crisis three years in a row.

If you don't like where you are, change is always better. Unfortunately, you can't predict the future, but a good outlook on the situation will help.

Good Luck

:: Mona ::

Sheilah said...

I'm sorry...but, you will eventually get the job you really desire! I'm sure of it!

CAD Monkey said...

Whew! Glad you didn't say I'd get the job I "deserve;" that might be scary!!