Thursday, October 21, 2004

The Thing I Didn't Want To Hear

I walked in this morning to get hit in the face with the lovely aroma of...cigarette smoke! That's right, BossManJ finds it completely acceptable to smoke in the office. So, now the job is not only annoying, but hazardous to my health as well. Peachy.

Why haven’t they called yet? Tomorrow will be a week since the interview; the very same interview I got such warm, fuzzy feelings from.

Do they not realize I am a twitchy, neurotic mess? Can they not feel, through the psychic pipeline, that I am waiting- edgily- for them to call and throw me the metaphorical life preserver of a decent employ? Do I really want them to figure this out- no! I just want my damn phone call- the good kind, not the “well, we’ve gone with someone else” kind.

Desperation tickles my brain with its evil little fingers, trying to convince me to do what I shouldn’t.
I shouldn’t call them.
I shouldn’t e-mail the one person working there that I know and ask for his good word.
I shouldn’t just tell this place to stick it, and throw myself to the winds of unemployment.
I shouldn’t call my former boss and ask if there’s any contract work I can do.
I really, really, really shouldn’t go eat a big hunk of cheese just to ride the opiate wave.

I have to be cool on the outside, and continue along like nothing is wrong- when everything here is SO wrong. I’m even having trouble trying to lose myself in the work, because I lack direction. I don’t know how this place puts together a set of construction documents- they offer no training, and there is no standard that I can see. After opening three different project sets to get a go-by, I have three different methods.


GFF just called, and gave me the same old story about not enough experience, wrong project type experience, blah, blah, blahbitty, blah.

I wish I had never seen this picture and had it affect me the way it did in my first architectural history class.

I wish I had never read this book.

I wish I had been a little more patient with my last job, because this one is so much worse, and apparently I’m going to rot here.

1 comment:

Kent said...

I feel your pain CAD Monkey. I left a relatively stable large firm with lots of resources, friendly coworkers, and good pay for this one. The pay is better the benefits suck but the place consists of me and well my boss. Their are no standards the past jobs I look at are all different just like your dealing with. Hang in there. I am which means I'm sure you can :)